i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
