just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
