I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
