would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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