you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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