So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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