That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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