would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
