White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
