she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
