lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
