At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you had me at cake vodka
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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