but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
