they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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