so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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