She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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