hotel room ftw
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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