i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
