Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
