I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
