We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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