Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
