i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize