im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
