Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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