3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
