You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
