me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
