Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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