Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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