I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
