I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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