I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
