if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
