I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
