I'd wear matching sweaters with you
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
