ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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