So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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