the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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