I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize