If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize