My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
