How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
