What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
