at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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