don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
