You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
