I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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