he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
