It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Even my vagina gasped.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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