is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize