I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
