I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
