the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize