We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just want to make out with him forever
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
