Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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