Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
