take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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