it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
